The Worst Things

Before I continue with my post I want to take note that today our family blog hit 62,500 views. Wow! Granted, that’s over a 10 year period and with 942 posts we are only averaging 67 views each. Not very much at all but but when it’s all added up is sure sounds significant for just a ho-hum family blog. Moving on…

Lately I’ve been working on (and not being very good at it) having a more positive outlook and attitude. However, it’s been a while since I’ve done a “rant” post so here goes a quick list of my worst things lately.

  • Sushi. Ew! I tried it for the first time in forever and I ended up repeatedly dry-heaving over the nice restaurant’s table while trying to swallow a big bite of it. The texture, uck! The taste, eek! What’s even worse? I was completely out of water which I NEEDED immediately in order force the chunk of goo down my gullet. I had to quickly steal my friend’s glass before I completely lost it. Embarrassingly, my pretended sophisticated-and-cool countenance quickly disintegrated in front of a group of actual sophisticated and cool friends.
  • Still wearing sweaters at the end of May. My arms need to see the daylight!  
  • Our stupid cat’s addiction to meowing frantically to go outside and then immediately turning around and meowing frantically to come back inside and then immediately turning around and meowing frantically to go back outside and then…well, you get the point. When the weather is nice I can just leave the door open and hope the flies don’t come in but usually it needs to stay shut. We are all going batty over this never-ending game!
  • Chronic shoulder pain. I need to do something to remedy this but I’m not sure what the optimal treatment is and I’m too lazy to go about figuring it out.
  • Lowering my own hourly pay by loosing focus, procrastinating, and spending too much time writing articles about animal feed processing, employee onboarding (which isn’t actually a real word but I had to write about it anyway), RV insurance, how to use a walker, and a hundred other things I know nothing about and have to B.S. my way through anyway. I should be doing that now but instead I’m writing this silly post. 
  • Making any decision. About anything. Ever.
  • Having to try on 30 pairs of leggings before finding a pair that isn’t too small in the waist AND too big in the legs, aren’t a thousand dollars, or see-though when my butt is up in the air. 
  • Never being able to complete dinner within the recipe’s estimated time frame. I feel like a loser every time.
  • Crayons in the dryer.
  • Thinking about wearing a swimsuit to our new community pool surrounded by everyone I know and hold in high regard. AWKWARD.
  • My beautiful, lush Ivy houseplant turning into a sad, dying, stringy mess.
  • Is cooking really worth the dishes it produces? My sink is never empty of dirty pots and pans.
  • Paying for a library cd that is stuck in my car’s cd player. Also, broken car cd player.
  • So many end-of-year school activities crammed into the last few weeks of May. Let’s spread it out a little, eh? Also, multiple backpacks full of garbage. I have seen PILES and PILES of used paper enter my home. I mean, can’t it just be put in the school’s recycle bin?
  • The dust seriously accumulating in unreachable places.
  • Always having ground flax stuck in my teeth.
  • The vision I have in my head for my yard vs. reality.
  • Birth control decisions.
  • Loud music playing continuously. It’s like I’m in torture training for the Navy Seals. Okay! I break! I’ll tell you anything you want to know! Just make the noise stop!
  • Finding Cara used half my bottle of expensive shampoo for bath bubbles.
  • I love going to my backyard for quiet, alone time. It’s peaceful, I hear birds chirping, none of the kids are bugging me. BUT for the last 6 weeks when I go to the backyard, breaking the silence, is some negligent neighbor’s dying smoke alarm. Every 30 seconds, FOR 6 WEEKS is that faint DAGNABIT chirp interrupting my zen. *^##$@!!!
    • Opening the finished dishwasher after one of the kids loaded it.
    • My fatigue and soreness flare ups can be a real downer. The other day Madeleine asked why I take so much medicine and why I’m in bed so much. (I’m not really but in her little eyes I am and that makes me sad.)
    • My exploding linen closet because I’m the only one in this household who knows how to fold a blanket and put it on a shelf and I’ve refused to do it this week.
    • All three of my kids inheriting my un-fittable feet.
    • Because of my stomach pooch, Caroline asking me, repeatedly mind you, when I’m going to have a baby and saying, “but your stomach is sticking out!”
    • Stinky washcloths.
    • Nate’s bad attitude when he has to wear clean pants rather than dirty shorts.
    • The tupperware cupboard. ‘Nuff said.

    Wow. That’s a long, sad list of Worsts and I could probably think of about a hundred more if I let myself. But really, if those are my “worsts” than life is still pretty darn amazing. Lucky, blessed me. 
    (See that positivity blip I put in at the bottom? That makes me a better, not so negative person…)

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