Rejected Books: So Bad, Yet So Good

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It’s not styled yet, but you get the picture.


You know the scene from Beauty & the Beast where Belle is shown her new, what-literary-dreams-are-made-of library? When we were house hunting and saw this wall of bookshelves, that very scene is what came to mind. I’m happy to announce that after almost 3 years, we’ve finally collected enough (mostly hand-me-down) books to fill this beautiful space. Are you curious to know how many books it takes to fill up 25 shelves? In a very scientific manner (How many large books fit on a shelf? 12. How many thin books fit on a shelf? 88.  Average them: 50. Multiplied by 25 shelves) I estimate there are 1250 books. We also have a few armfuls scattered about the house. I can’t even imagine how many books Belle owns!

Some of these we have purchased but like I said, most of them are hand-me-downs from friends and family who were going to take these all to Deseret Industries but thought of us and our plight first. Thanks, everyone! The rescued books thank you as well for giving them a loving home.
Here are some facts…actually, they’re rough estimates:

Books of Scripture=26
Encyclopedias of some sort=6
Dictionaries of language (mostly english and french but also welsh and brazilian portugese)=11
Nonfiction vs Fiction= 60/40
Adult vs Juvenile=70/30

By going through boxes and boxes of books people are ready to throw out I’ve uncovered a number of fantastic, nay, stupendous reads. Are you ready to see for yourself which reads we now call our own?

This might be my favorite.


These are seriously the scariest dolls I’ve ever seen!


Except for maybe this one…


This is a sketch the author made of her husband. Then she made a doll of this fine-looking man. I love how he is clutching the “special doll”. Are those his feet??



Aww. A classic. Everyone loves “Jack the Bum” stories from back in the good old politically incorrect days.


The children help Jack find shelter for the winter. While the bum is squatting in an abandoned house, he manages to catch a jewel thief that was hiding out. The police gave him a proper reward.




From 1971



“This jumper dress creates a mood of zingy effervescence.”    Sure does! Where do I get myself one of those!



I didn’t even know there was a “Medical Romance” genre! It’s even conveniently in large print for the older set who tend to fantasize medically.



Looks fun!



“A Tour of Councils Through Their Patches!”



Oooh. Another romance!     “Why, sir! Your immense yellow bowtie is tickling my neck in such a tantalizing manner!”



That’s a pretty gory cover!IMG_0960.JPG


One of Terrill Willson’s methods to achieve conscious outer body experiences is to wake up in the middle of the night, roll your eyeballs upward until you feel a strain and see only black space. After holding them there for 45 minutes or so and clearing your mind you’ll start to hear a whistle. That’s when you know you’re on your way. The whole process takes a couple of hours and you should practice regularly. He highly recommends this form of torture travel.



Well? Do you know?  I do, thanks to this gem of a book. They are both artiodactyls (even-toed hoofed animal).



Drainage? Of what???  And in case the below engineering textbook isn’t enough, we have 14 more.



I just like the title of this one.



Looks innocent enough…IMG_0979.JPG


Until…“Sexy grandmas are as common as head lettuce…”   Well, now!



It would be excruciating to read this excruciatingly thick Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.



I would hate to leave out the winning cds that were in some the boxes.






I could listen to slide effects for hours if played by this man.



And a show everyone can enjoy.IMG_0896

I did come across this actual gem. I found some notes inside written by Rob’s grandpa. They are regarding naval intelligence. Very cool.


5 thoughts on “Rejected Books: So Bad, Yet So Good

  1. OH MY GOSH!! I am dying here! This is so awesomely funny! I couldn't figure out if it was Rob or Julie who was writing! You both have the best senses of humor! Your book cases look amazing by the way!

  2. Awesome!! Looks like we have some doll crafting and dress making to do! I might have more of a spring in my step if I had a super zingy dress to wear, and think of the looks on the kids faces on Christmas morning when they have been immortalized as a doll!

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