Mounted bear and cougar is.

Miles of floral wallpaper is.

Pet urine is.

Mirrored wall is.

Banister made from a tree is. (It wasn’t in a cabin.)

Paintings of your dogs is are.

Never-ending bright green carpet is.

Door that won’t open all the way because it hits the toilet is.

Mold is.

Concrete countertop with water stains is.

Beaded curtain is.

Bathroom without a division in the bedroom is.

Ten electrical outlets placed randomly around the upper part of the walls is are.

Peach carpet in the kitchen is.

Gopher is.

Melted siding is.

Deer poop is.

70’s wetbar is.

Washer and dryer in the bedroom closet is.

These are all things we’ve found in our house hunt. Keep in mind, these aren’t cheap houses in the worst parts of town. Even though the show hosts at HGTV want you to think that it only takes 12 minutes and as little as a dime to makeover a junker into a swanky residence, I know it actually takes months or years and tens of thousands of dollars. So, on with the search for our new home. Here’s to move-in ready!