Warning: This is a very long and boring story. Proceed at your own risk.

-1989-

I failed an eye exam and got my first pair of glasses. Mind you, geeks weren’t cool back then like they are now. Nope, I was just a lowly, uncool geek. Still am, though.

-1993-

I switched to contact lenses since I was entering junior high and had to Cool Up, for my own sake. Although, I don’t think it worked. Actually, I do know…it didn’t.

-1999-

I started wearing small glasses because they suddenly became cool. Soon after this I went back to contacts almost exclusively because my eyes get tired when wearing glasses.

-Spring of 2016-

I started seeing double or “ghosting” when watching tv or reading. My night vision was suddenly reduced and I couldn’t read any road signs until they were right next to me. Even then, they were blurry.

-June of 2016-

I went to the eye doctor with my complaints. He told me that what I was experiencing is normal as I age. Along with a slight prescription change in my right eye only, he diagnosed me with astigmatism in both eyes.

After fitting me with new contacts, I told him I still couldn’t see that well. He told me to take a week or two for adjustment and then he’d change the brand or strength, if needed.

-July-

I still couldn’t see very well so I went back to the dr. and tried different contacts and waited for adjustment.

-August-

I still couldn’t see well so I went back to the dr. and had him check my eyes again. He confirmed my astigmatism but gave me a slightly different prescription and I waited for adjustment.

-September-

I still couldn’t see well so I went back to the dr. and again, tried different contacts, and waited for adjustment.

-October-

I STILL couldn’t see!

I finally took the time (and expense) to get a second opinion from a different doctor. He and his optometrist both checked my eyes and not only gave me a different prescription than what I’d been given, but (here’s the kicker) told me that I do NOT have an astigmatism in either eye. At all!

I was given new contacts and I CAN SEE!!

This was after I had ordered a bunch of contacts from the old doctor (at the time, thinking my prescription was correct). When I tried to return them, the doc never took the time to see me or apologize for giving me bad vision for almost 5 months! I also didn’t get a refund for my appointment cost but he DID give me a year’s worth of lenses in the corrected prescription for free…most assuredly as a bribe to keep me from blasting a bad review all over online.

I’m still annoyed.

…………………………………………………………………………

Now, this isn’t the end of this dull story, oh no. This next part took place at the same time that I was having my contact lens issues, making for even MORE frustration:

-August of 2016-

Since my prescription changed slightly in June, I finally decided it was time to upgrade my glasses.

Buying lenses for me is really expensive due to the high prescription (-7.0 and -7.25). I hate buying glasses because I have a hard time finding frames that:

a) work with very thick high-index prescription lenses

b) fit my tween-sized face without boasting tween-themed colors such as hot pink and adornments such as kitty cats and peace signs

c) are stylish but not too stylish since I don’t want to go through the whole rigamarole all over again as soon as a trend passes on by

So, even though I like wearing glasses, it took a long time to find any that actually fit the criteria.

I finally found a pair in Murray. I paid the almost $400 it cost to get mediocre frames with expensive lenses. Then I waited two weeks for them to come in.

When I went to pick them up, I made the mistake of not taking out my contacts when trying them on. I just trusted that they would be great. Wrong move.

That night, I tried them on properly and noticed immediately that there was something wrong with the lenses. I could only see through a dime-sized hole! If I moved my head or eyes up or down or even just looked off center, I became very dizzy.

Back to the store they went to be fixed. On top of them being made wrong, they decided it was probably best for my prescription if we went to the second thinnest lens rather than the most high-index one.

-September-

I picked up my fixed glasses and tried them on in the store without my contacts in. The lenses were fine. I did a quick glance in the mirror and left the store.

When I got in the car I did a selfie to send to Rob but when I looked at the picture of myself I thought the glasses looked horrible! I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong but I knew I didn’t like them (after spending the $400 and waiting over a month for them).

When I got home I continued to study myself in the mirror, trying to figure out why I hated them so much after I loved them in the store. Finally, I noticed two things:

1- The frames weren’t the same color I tried on. The variation in the tortoise pattern was so different that they ended up being much darker than the sample pair.

2- Due to the thick lenses (even though they were the thinnest I could get) in the bigger frame, they really morphed the sides of my face. So when looking through my lenses at my eyes, the sides of my face looked way narrower, making the frames look way too big for my face.

This is where my breakdown happened. After looking, waiting, and forking up hundreds of dollars, I still hated them! Time to start ALL over again. Sigh.

-October-

I didn’t want to go back to Murray for the 3rd time to return my glasses so I found a closer location, told them my issues, and hunted for a new, smaller, and narrower frame that wouldn’t cause such extreme face morphing.  I didn’t really find any that worked so they ordered in a couple of pairs from a different store for me to try on. This meant more waiting.

When the frames came in I went and tried them on but one of them was too big and the other one was ugly. After more looking, I finally found a pair of child-sized glasses that actually fit, would work pretty well with my thick lenses, and weren’t too ugly. I ordered them and waited.

FINALLY it was time to pick them up. I took out my contacts, put on the glasses, and left the store. It wasn’t until I started driving in the daylight that I noticed a very large streak running top to bottom on the right lens. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

BACK to the store. It was determined that the coating wasn’t applied correctly at the lab, requiring me to send back the lenses to be redone. AGAIN.

{REMEMBER, all this was happening at the same time that my contact prescription was corrected so my glasses were ordered with the slightly wrong prescription. I couldn’t stomach calling and getting them corrected AGAIN so I just went with it. Luckily, they work just fine. Phew.}

-November 2016-

My new glasses arrive. They fit. The frames aren’t exactly what I wanted but they’re as good as I can get. The lenses are quite thick and cause some morphing. But again, it is as good as I can get.

That’s THE END end of my sight story. Super long. Frustrating. Maddening. Annoying. Expensive.

Worth it in the end? Eh. Not really. Whatever. I’m just glad it’s over. I’m hoping to wait a good long while before having to go through all this again.

And in case you’re wondering, yes I’ve thought about getting corrective eye surgery but no, it’s probably not for me.