#HASHTAGS, #HASHTAGS, #HASHTAAAAAGS

One of our favorite things to watch is Jimmy Fallon’s Late Night #HASHTAGS segments on Hulu. Belly laughs. Full on.

Jimmy puts a topic out on twitter and people tweet their true life responses. He then shares some of his favorites. Topics include #partyfail, #dadquotes, #myweirdgymstory, #dontjudgeme, and many others.

Hil- to the -arious.

So in honor of these clips, I thought I’d share some of our own submissions, had we submitted them.

#promdisaster: This wasn’t prom and it wasn’t exactly a disaster, but it was annoying. I was walking through Fred Meyer with a friend of mine and he walked me over to the helium tanks where they blow up balloons. He didn’t buy me a balloon, but he proceeded to suck on the nozzle and then ask me in a high-pitched, helium voice to the dance at school. Embarrassingly and reluctantly I said yes. Then after I spent a lot of time trying to look nice for the dance, he showed up wearing a t-shirt that was emblazoned, “She’s with Stupid”. Yes. I was.

#worstpickuplines: One time at a hostel in Seattle a British guy sat down next to me and whispered into my ear, “Would you mind if I stuck my tongue in your ear and twirl it around a little?” As a matter of fact, I WOULD mind!

#beachfail: I was trying to body board at a beach in Hawaii when I was 16. I wiped out and sand got all over inside my bathing suit. I went to the open shower at the top of the beach and was trying to subtly wash it out when an older foreign woman came up to me and offered to help. Even though I politely declined, she continued to pull my swimsuit away from my body, stick her hands inside, and brush away the sand front and back. My whole family was watching and dying with laughter.

#soembarrassing: I was sitting on the porch with a guy I really liked. He was opening up and telling me how much he liked me and wanted to pursue a relationship. My stomach had been bothering me all night and I was nervous. Right when he finished telling me his feelings and was waiting for my response, I let out a big, loud, smelly one.

#awkwarddate: One time I went and played some pool at the U with a guy. On the way back to his house to watch a movie, he wanted to stop at a convenience store for some snacks and drinks. While we were waiting in line to pay, he picked up and started perusing a filthy magazine in front of me. Obviously, I didn’t stay for the movie.

#awkwarddate: Here’s another one. I was on a date with a guy I’d been seeing and he told me that he was actually engaged to someone else.

#mydumbinjury: Rob was dating someone else and he and I were “friends”. He had asked the girl he was dating to join his indoor soccer team and she refused. I wanted to impress him by showing how fun and cool I was so I signed up. Keep in mind I had NEVER played soccer before let alone with older, bigger, indoor soccer league men. My first game I looked like a complete idiot trying to keep up and ended up cramping my thigh muscle. A couple of nights later we went ice skating with his girlfriend and some other people. I fell down and while trying to get back up, tore a small rip in that same muscle. Hurt like Hades. Rob and his girlfriend had to carry me off the ice and into the car. Weeks later after Rob broke up with his girlfriend and he and I were on our first official date, I was still limping.

#slapyourself: When Rob and I were dating, we drove down to St. George to visit his grandparents. We were almost there when he suddenly pulled over to side of the road and said, romantically, “I was planning on telling you later at a better time, but I just can’t wait. I need to tell you, I’m falling in love with you.” Collective “Awwwww!”.  I was caught off-guard by the whole thing so what was my response? “Well..that’s good…because I’m falling in love with you, too…and it would suck if you weren’t ‘cause that would be no fun.” Brilliant. I wanted, and still do, want to slap myself over that one. The funny thing is that he was so excited he  told me that he didn’t even hear my response and didn’t realize what I had actually said until I repeated it back to him later when I apologized for my lameness.

#mysuperpower: Just a couple of weeks ago, I had the super power ability to try on gloves for a man shopping for his 10-year-old daughter. Also, while walking by a group of 12-yr-old boys, one of them yelled out a pickup line to me. It was dark and I was turned away. When I looked at him, I don’t think he was expecting to see a 31-yr-old woman. Awesome…

 

And here are a few of Rob’s:

#iusedtothink: When I was very young and the priests would kneel to say the sacrament prayers into the hidden microphone, I was completely convinced that I was hearing the voice of Heavenly Father speaking down to us from heaven.

#mydumbinjury: In high school some friends and I built a large half pipe. Once, after riding hard and falling backwards onto my butt, a friend indicated to me that my shorts were ripped. Upon more careful inspection I found that I was bleeding. Turns out I was unlucky and landed and slid on a screw that was sticking out too far! Ouch! I still have a 2-inch scar in my butt crack.

#iadmitit: In high school I was approached by an acquaintance. She asked in a friendly way if I smoked. I replied, “not cigarettes!”

#awkwarddate: I made a date with a girl for Thursday night. An hour before I was to pick her up, I called to verify that we were still on. She confirmed the date so I said I’d see her in an hour. When I got to her door, her mother answered, looked embarrassed for me, and said, “Oh, I’m sorry. She just left with another guy.” This was before I had a cell phone so I drove across the street to Ream’s and called her. Twice. No answer. We never did go out. Oh, but I did run into her at church. Turns out I was friends with her brother. Awkward.

#awkwarddate: I was dating Julie, but my ex asked me out on a hike and I accepted. I told Julie and she was very upset and said she was finished putting up with me. The next morning (day of the hike), I decided I didn’t want anything to do with my ex and that I was going to win Julie back. I should have called my ex and told her over the phone, but instead I went on the date. She took me on a hike up to a waterfall, sat me down, and I let her pour out her feelings for me. Then she asked me if we could get back together. I promptly shattered her feelings by saying I wasn’t interested in dating her. Yeah, I’m a jerk. Afterwards, we still had to hike back down together and she had to drive me home.

 

We hope these made you laugh…even if they are at the expense of both our pride AND dignity!!!  I have a feeling no one is going to give us any respect after this…

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