One part-time mother for my two children.
Requirements: Piles of patience, the cleaning capabilities of Alice from the Brady Bunch, the energy of a nuclear rocket, and an unnaturally cheerful attitude 110% of the time whilst being screamed at nonstop.
Must be able to handle one constantly over-dramatic child and one who is roaring into her terrible 2s.
The lucky candidate will start immediately with a base salary of ZILCH.
Please send your resume
Attn: Mrs. Exhaus Ted CrankyPants