Not one, but two Donny Osmond autobiographies.

I can totally see why girls everywhere worshipped him. There’s just something about a man who can look so cool in oversized clothes and bare feet.

Now, I don’t have anything against The Collins Complete Book of Needlecraft. I do, however, have something against these pictures.

Work it!

I’m pretty sure one of my children actually invented this game. Ewww!

 

From the Butterick Sewing Book. No comment.

This was published at the height of his career in 2005. Everyone can now collectively roll their eyes.

This was Rob’s when he was young 😉 Was she cool enough to impress him? Well?

From People in Costume: The 1950s and 1960s. She’s looking oh so classic in her pearls-slash-santa-cap combo.

I had no idea I was supposed to do this. I’ve been a walking non-matcher my whole life. How embarrassing.

This is interesting. It’s from the 1983 Homemaking Booklet. These are strange questions for self evaluation. My how priorities have changed.

 

A fascinating read while in the restroom.

This is so weird. Notice the little brother winking in the foreground. I’m guessing he has something to do with the ghost in the soup?

I love angel food cake but I’ve never tried angel food loaf. This version is definiety “something pretty, something new.”

I wonder who gave us this book. No, I really want to know!

From The Stress Factor.
No need to worry, this man is only teaching this woman how to stand up correctly.

That leotard looks anything but gentle!

From the book Love at Home Starring Father.

Just reading this introductory paragraph gives me a headache. I don’t even know what to say about it.

I’m thinking this boy had a special snack before watching his movie. It’s the only explanation.

Yes, these giant mushroom print “hostess pajama” express just who this woman really is. I wonder what kind of gathering she is hosting in those?

They’re right, this woman does look very pleased. And dramatic.

This dear, sweet nun wrote Beakless Bluebirds and Featherless Penguins, a brief 273 pages about raising two injured wild birds. Bless her heart.

*Everything depicted here actually happened.

Aww. Poor Chelsea!

I couldn’t help but show more pictures of devastatingly frightening dolls. This time a winged woman with an ice cream cone that is lovingly placed into her bum pocket for safekeeping.

Ahhhh! Winged women infestatation! They’re crawling out of the drawers!

I hope you enjoyed my latest installment of Rejected Books (btw, my first post about these came months before Jimmy Fallon started his own Do Not Read List on his show. I believe he somehow came across my blog post and copied my idea. Now people everywhere are laughing. All because of me. Thankyouverymuch)