Right after Brian passed away I had a fear of forgetting him. I didn’t want my memories to fade so I typed them all down as they came to mind. I also saved emails from caring friends that were sent to me in my time of need.
This whole process made me cry. A lot. It was also healing and helped me clear my brain so that I didn’t have everything at the forefront of my thoughts at all times. It took me a year to finish writing it all down because the ending was too recent and painful for me to relive. After I finished I hid it away somewhere on my hard drive, figuring that I’d know the right time to share it with my family.
Now, almost 7 (?!) years later, I opened it up figuring that I had emotionally spewed randomness all over the pages and it would need major editing and rewriting to make it presentable. It actually only needed a couple of clarifications and a little formatting before I decided it was good enough for private family reading. Just remember that these are my personal memories and are not necessarily factual. For that reason I’ve decided to keep a full version for myself and an ever-so-slightly edited version for everyone else. I’m sure you’ll understand.
Today being his birthday, it’s a hard day for my family. But lately I have felt more at ease with the idea of sharing my writings and more of an internal push to do so than ever before. I’m offering it up to those who wish to remember along with me. It made me smile and it made me cry but it ends with Rob’s talk that he gave at the funeral. It reminds me how blessed we are and how happy I am that we are an eternal family and will see Brian again.
PS: I’m not actually posting the paper here (it’s 35 pages). Please send me a message if you’d like me to email you a copy.